


Angels, Demons, and Sammy :)

by moves_like_water



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Season/Series 10, Alternate Series Ending, Alternate Universe - Crack, Angel/Demon Relationship, Crack, Crack Relationships, Demon Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Happy Ending, I'm so sorry, King of Hell Crowley, M/M, Marriage, alternate season 10, dean is in denial still, established Destiel, johnnyboy winchester makes an appearance, there's a thing with a fedex truck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 20:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5262122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moves_like_water/pseuds/moves_like_water
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's a demon, Crowley is obsessed with Sam, & Destiel are so dysfunctional but still cute. Everyone's in hell and shenanigans occur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after season 9 aired as a joke. It's an alternate (crack) version of how I think season 10 should have gone and it serves as an ending to the series (lmao). If you can get through it it's pretty funny.

Crowley watched in anticipation as the transformation took place. As the King of Hell, he’d seen many men become demons, but not like this. He’d never seen anything like this. Of course, it had only happened once before. That was Cain- long before his time. He saw Dean’s body move and felt a flicker of excitement. The new Knight of Hell, and he just happened to be a personal friend of Crowleys- kind of. The Winchester may have threatened to kill him on multiple occasions, but what was friendship, after all?

Then it happened. Dean’s eyelids flickered open to reveal the change that had taken place. His eyes, formerly green, not unlike his beautiful brother's…. they had been replaced with the glossy black glory attributed to demons. There was a moment of confusion, Dean, of course was trying to figure out where he’d gone after this death.

“You’re not in Heaven or Hell, sweetheart,” Crowley said with a smirk, “Not yet anyway. But I do feel as if you’re going to enjoy your next trip downstairs.”

The new demon bolted upright in the hospital bed that he had died in only moments before. “What the hell did you do to me?” he demanded, already pulling himself out of the bed.

“Not me-” the King of Hell grinned, “It’s that lovely mark on your arm. It’s not as keen to let go as you are.”

Dean frowned, not sure how to process this information. “I’m… alive?” he said, mostly to himself. “But I was dead. I thought for good this time. But here I am and I feel… really good.” Since he’d woken up only a few seconds ago he had felt it. There was an immense power growing inside him. He’d felt it since he’d gotten the mark, but now he realized that the power he’d felt before was a mere taste.

All of a sudden it dawned on him, “Wait a minute? Am I a..?”

“Demon?” Crowley grinned, “Congratulations squirrel, you’re catching on. And you like it don’t you?”

“No fucking way,” Dean grimaced, “A fucking demon? How about no?” he pouted. It was mostly for show. He didn’t want Crowley to know that he was right. Of course he was going to enjoy this. He was the lone Knight of Hell and one of the most powerful demons in the world. This was pretty great.

Crowley rolled his eyes. The Winchesters could be exhausting. Well, this one could. Moose, really, everything he did was cute. He shook his head, snapping himself out of the thought. If he started thinking about the hot, tall, muscular… well he’d be daydreaming for a few hours. Seriously. It had happened.

“Come on then,” he snapped, trying to get Dean’s attention. He seemed to have taken a liking to his own reflection and was staring at himself in the mirror.

“My eyes.. are so black,” he murmured to himself, trying to refrain from touching the glossy black surface of his eyes. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this part of the deal. It was just really weird. Kinda looked stupid almost. Or maybe he was just worried about what Cas would think. His face flushed at the thought of his angel boyfriend. Shit this was going to be awkward.

He turned to Crowley, “Where are we going?”

“Heaven you moron, what do you think?” The demon said, briefly wondering if his sarcasm would even be detected by Dean’s fragile mind.

“Oh.”

So his brain still worked to the function it was at to begin with. Which wasn’t to say much.

Just at that moment the door to the hospital room opened. Dean’s gay boy and Sam pushed their way into the room. Sam looked at his brother in shock. “Dean what the hell is wrong with your eyes?”  
  
Dean turned around in embarrassment. He wasn’t ready for this. He didn’t want Sammy to see his demon eyes let alone his boyfriend. “I died a few minutes ago. It’s okay, I’ll be fine. Don’t look at me please.”

Crowley’s cheeks flushed ever so slightly. “Hey Moose,” he said, masking a smile that faltered when his eyes met those of the angel, Castiel. He wasn’t happy to see him. Ever since he’d gone back on their deal and swallowed a bunch of leviathan souls, he couldn’t trust him.

Cas frowned. He knew this was coming since he’d found out that Dean had taken the mark. It still hurt. He somehow thought they might save Dean from this fate. Like he could somehow make Cain take the mark back? He knew it wasn’t possible but the thought had always stuck in his mind. Too late now. He had to admit though. Dean being a Knight of Hell was kind of hot. A bit.

He looked at Dean’s back sadly. “I can’t be here.” He poofed out of the room almost as quickly as he’d come. He loved Dean, but he wasn’t ready to see him as a demon. Not to mention that Crowley was there and that was just awkward.

Sam looked at Dean’s back, “Dean, Cas told me you were a demon. Is that true?”

Dean didn’t answer.

Crowley hated to be the deliverer of bad news to Moose, but in this case he knew he had no choice. Obviously Dean wasn’t going to answer. Although his silence really said it all. “Yes, your brother is the newest addition to the Hell family, care to join?” he said it like a joke, but secretly he was hoping that this situation would give him an in to try to get Sam to notice him as something… more.

Moose ignored the King of Hell. Typical. “Dean what the hell! Why would you take that mark if you knew it would make you a demon?” he yelled, obviously very pissed.  
Dean turned around, slightly less embarrassed now that his angel had left the room. “Okay, well, first of all, I didn’t know it would make me a demon. And second, I had to kill Abbadon, so there’s that,” he sassed.

Sam crossed his arms angrily. Of course this had gone to shit. Everything always did. He was a Winchester. Why should he have expected anything different? “Whatever,” he said, glaring at the wall to avoid looking at his stupid demon brother.

“You’re still the one who released Lucifer, and drank demon blood so I don’t want to hear it,” As a demon, Dean didn’t feel bad about bringing up his brother’s past mistakes.

“Well now boys, this has been a lovely reunion, but I think it’s time me and Moody over here to go home now. By the way, Moose, the invitation still stands if you’re interested,” Crowley cut in. He cast a last glance at Moose, feeling sorry for him. He knew it wouldn’t help to say he didn’t care about his unfortunate past, but it was still a struggle not to say anything. With a snap of his fingers the two demons were gone, leaving Sam in the hospital room alone.

\----

“This is not the Hell I remember,” Demon Dean said as he looked around, noticeably confused.

Crowley shook his head. For being a Knight of Hell, Dean really was clueless. Not a shocker. “Of course not. When you were here before you were a mere human soul. Now you’re second-in-command. Essentially.”

“So where are we now?”

“Hello. King of Hell? This is my palace,” Crowley’s arms spread wide to showcase the grand entryway of his castle, “Welcome home. Don’t break anything and please don’t snoop.”

“Whatever.”

Dean stalked off to roam about the castle. It was weird as shit being in Hell and being comfortable. It was a nice change. Of course, Crowley’s warning not to snoop didn’t stick in Dean’s mind. Not that he would have followed it if it had.

He wandered around the rooms absently. He would have never pegged Crowley as a guy to live in such a fancy place. Like it was an actual castle. Probably 1000 rooms or something, Dean wasn’t good with numbers. For no reason. He had a sneaking suspicion that Crowley was also the type of guy to wander about his castle dressed like a literal king. He chuckled to himself at the thought. (He wouldn’t be laughing later when he discovered this to be true.)

As he continued his castle adventure he became more and more disturbed by the things he’d seen. At first everything seemed about as normal as a castle in hell could be. But then things turned around. It started when he found a bedroom with a framed picture of Sam on the nightstand. Obviously that was weird, but he just shrugged it off and kept moving. A bad mistake.

About an hour later Dean found himself in a large gallery-sized room. In his previous 40 years in Hell, Dean had never experienced anything as horrible as that room. The most demanding object in the room was a massive floor to ceiling painting of his brother. It was creepily in depth, every muscle of Sam’s naked body was so defined, and the whole thing was so detailed looked like it was about to crawl off the wall. Even as a demon, Dean struggled not to vomit.

The house of horrors didn’t end there. In fact, that was only the beginning. The walls were lined with many other portraits of Dean’s younger but not smaller brother and most of these did not offer the slight relief of not being full body. He tried to cover his eyes but it was everywhere: Sam’s dick.

Dean's head was spinning as he struggled to get the image out of his head, but there was no stopping it. He closed his eyes tightly, but the only problem was that it was even harder to escape the chamber of horrors without the benefit of vision. As he blindly stumbled through the room he ran into a shelf, knocking the structure and its contents into his lap. To his dismay, his eyes automatically snapped open to reveal what he had found. Covering his lap was a collection of dildos, the closest one being labeled "Sam Power". He screamed, and by the time he made it out of the room his tears were flowing freely.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE!" Crowley screamed, and it was hard to say which demon's face was redder.

Dean looked up through his tears from the place where he'd fallen on the floor in his wild panic to escape. "I have to go kill somebody," he mumbled, pushing past Crowley as quickly as he could manage.

\----

Right around the same time Dean escaped to go kill someone (a side effect of his affliction) Sam Winchester was walking around outside the hospital his brother had experienced his most recent death in. He was moping, obviously. He had just lost his brother and seen him come back as one of the creatures the brothers had dedicated their lives to destroying. He tended to act like all these things didn't affect him but the reality was that he was hurting a lot. But since everyone in his life was dead his only option for talking was Cas, and he really didn't feel like talking to his brother's angel at the moment.

A man walking briskly down the street bumped into Sam as he moved past and Sam cried out angrily as he was shoved into oncoming traffic. There was a loud screech of tires as the driver of a black Lexus slammed on the brakes and merely tapped the giant man instead of sending him flying a few yards and making him into a bloody streak on the road.

Sam's heart was pounding as he stumbled out of the way of the vehicle which went speeding away as if it hadn't almost killed a man. He glared angrily after it. In his frustration, he neglected to realize that he was still standing in the middle of the road. He may have missed the first car, but the second one to come along made contact and with the FedEx truck moving at full speed, Sam Winchester really didn't stand a chance.

\----

"Mr. Crowley?" A timid voice called out.

'Mr. Crowley' was in his gallery ('gallery' was its formal title because 'Sam Winchester Shrine' seemed a little inappropriate. Not to mention embarrassing.) The King of Hell had just finished straightening up the mess that Dean had left. At least his scrapbook was okay. He laid his hand lovingly on the cover. He'd come back here later. It was fair to say that he spent at least 60% of his time in Hell in this room.

"What do you want? And for the record, I’d prefer to be called ‘Your Majesty." He snapped to the lowlife demon who had disturbed him.  
"It's a new arrival, uh, Your Majesty. He's on your list. Top of it, actually."

Crowley's list of souls he wanted. There were very few names on the list because humans were boring and he didn't care much for them. But top of the list could only mean one thing.

"You mean to tell me that Moos- Sam Winchester is dead and standing at the gates to my kingdom?"

The confusion in the lesser demon's eyes lingered only for a second. "Yes, sir, Sam Winchester."

Crowley's eyes widened for a moment and he was barely able to contain himself. "Well what the fuck are you waiting for? Bring him to me!"

\----

Sam was pissed. This was the stupidest thing he'd ever done. It was more than stupid. It was- he didn't even have words to describe it. He'd spent his entire life fighting ghosts and monsters and various other things that could have easily killed him. He wouldn't have even felt bad if that's what had gotten him. He was a hunter, it was supposed to happen anyway. What wasn't supposed to happen was getting hit by a fucking truck. Sam Winchester. The hunter who had helped start and stop the apocalypse- who had taken lucifer out of his cage and put him back- who had been in fights with angels and won. Cause of death: HIT BY A MOTHERFUCKING TRUCK. So embarrassing.

"Hey there Moosie."

Sam nearly jumped out of his skin as Crowley's unmistakable voice came from behind him. He was suddenly aware that he was no longer standing in a long line outside a reception desk, but in a large grand hall of some sort of castle. He turned around slowly to face Crowley, and it occurred to him that the demon looked exceptionally short today; then again, maybe that was just because Sam was 8 feet tall.

"Hey there, Crowley," Sam managed through a grimace. He ran a hand through his long brown hair and tried to stop scowling.

Crowley couldn't contain his grin. Moose just looked so beautiful. His long hair was glossy and and bright, the color of polished wood. It looked so soft and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and pet it. (The only thing keeping him from doing so was the thought that maybe Sam would actually let him touch his hair later. He could hope anyway.) He was wearing one of his ridiculously hot plaid shirts and his tanned skin looked so good in the dim lighting of his Hell castle. To Crowley, Moose looked right at home.

Crowley was staring and it was beginning to make Sam feel uncomfortable. He waved his hand to try to snap him out of whatever weird trance he was in but it had no effect. He crossed his arms. "Crowley!" He barked, "Where the fuck am I? Shouldn't I be on the chopping block right now, getting tortured? Or like, is this the torture?”

  
Crowley snapped out of it as Sam started speaking. "Moose, I'm offended. I offered to let you join our little family and I intend to be good to you. Welcome home, my palace is your palace. And your brother's, I guess. What is it that brought the great Sammy Winchester down here anyway?"

Sam glowered. "I really don't want to talk about my untimely death right now especially not with you, if you don't mind."

"Of course," said Crowley, backing off. The last thing he wanted was to make Sam angry. He wanted Sam to like him more than anything.

"Where's Dean anyway?"

Crowley shrugged, "Off playing Friday the 13th with his bone knife, I assume."

Sam rolled his eyes. Ever since Dean had gotten that stupid mark all he wanted to do was kill things. He shouldn't be surprised that he'd give into those urges as a demon. It was so... Dean.

\----

Dean had been around the world over and over just slashing things and people up. He felt good about finally giving in to the urges of the mark. Killing felt good, but although he was high with the pure ecstasy of all the blood on his hands he still couldn't get the image of Sam’s huge painted dick and Crowley's dildos out of his head. He thought that he would rather stab his beloved knife through his own heart than keep living with this image in his mind.

With his mind reeling from the flashing images, Dean came up with a solution to his problem. It wasn't ideal, and it required the help of someone he desperately wanted to see, but that he was scared to. He didn't know if angels answered prayers from demons, but he figured that Cas would make an exception.

"Hello Dean," Cas' familiar greeting was enough to send a shiver down Dean's spine. It had only been a few days, but he'd missed the angel's gravelly voice more than anything.

Though it hurt, Dean forced himself to turn around and face his angel. Castiel was wearing the usual. His suit and trenchcoat were impeccable. One of the perks of being an angel. Though Castiel was very clean, Dean knew that the worn coat held the angel's musky scent and he longed to bury his head in Cas' shoulder and inhale him. Being around Castiel made Dean feel remarkably... human.

Cas, as always, had little regard for personal space. "You called me. What is it you want?"

Dean could feel the coldness in Cas' voice. He was unsure if it was caused by Cas not wanting to be here or just disappointment with what Dean had become. He supposed it didn't matter. He resisted the urge to pull the angel close and bring their lips together.

"Um. Yeah." It was painfully awkward trying to get the words out. Dean’s tongue was tied. He couldn't stand his gay boy being upset with him. Sure their relationship was almost exclusively defined by their problems but that didn't mean he had to enjoy the constant estrangement between the two.

Castiel was silent. He was patient with Dean even when his now demon boyfriend was covered in blood from who knew how many innocent victims. To his dismay, Castiel almost found the blood alluring. He'd always been good about this game he and Dean played. The silent treatments and bad splits and the angry fucking that followed it all, but this seemed different somehow. It was as if his disappointment in Dean was all being replaced with lust for this new Dean. He wasn't the same, exactly, but he was still Dean, and there was just something so sexy about the black eyes and coldness that surrounded him like a cloak. Or maybe that was his dick talking.

"Well, let me just put it this way. There were some... things... that I saw. That I really wish I hadn't and-"

Castiel took a step closer, "-And you want me to erase some memories?"

"Can you- would you?"

The angel pursed his lips. He was conflicted. He didn't know what his on/off boyfriend had possibly seen that would upset him so badly he'd ask for Castiel's help in removing the memories. He was a demon for fuck’s sake. A demon who had evidently just been off on a murder spree, and was clearly embarrassed to be in his presence. But it was Dean. Whatever had happened, the angel would do his best to help. Demon or not.

"What is it you would like me to erase?" Cas asked, closing the last few inches of space between the two men. It was obviously closer than he needed to be, but Cas wanted to be as close to Dean as he could manage, and he knew Dean well enough to know he wanted the same.

Dean didn't want to answer. He could feel a boner coming on just from his angel standing so close. It had been too long since they'd fucked and things were extremely awkward considering their current situation, but that didn't stop either of them from wanting it, and he knew if he thought about what he'd seen earlier it would ruin the mood. "Read my mind Cas. You'll know it when you see it."

Cas was happy to oblige, and like Dean said, he knew it. It didn't bother him near as much as it did Dean, and he wanted to ask about it because he always knew Crowley had a little crush on the younger Winchester but he had no idea it was anything like this. He knew how traumatized Dean was so he left it alone and did as his gay boy had asked.

Cas laid a hand on Dean's forehead and in a matter of seconds the offending memories were erased, doing their best to purify the demon's mind. Cas resisted the urge to do more knowing that his lover's mind was still filled with so much darkness, but he knew that at least for now he couldn't save Dean from what he was. What he could do was take advantage of it.

Castiel moved his hand from the demon's forehead to slide around his back and pulled him closer to feel the hard on Dean was getting that matched his own. Dean gasped slightly and turned away from his angel.

"Thanks for your help," he said, trying to pull away. He could hardly bear to face Castiel, despite how badly he wanted him. He really hadn't known what accepting the mark of Cain would do to him, but knowing how badly he'd hurt Cas in the process was too much. Of all the things the two had done to each other this seemed the worst. Cas was an angel and he was a demon.

"Dean... wait."

"Cas I don't want to do his again."

Cas moved closer yet again this time grabbing Dean's arm roughly. "Dean," he spoke softly, his piercing blue eyes searching the dark black pools of Dean's. "I don't care what you are," he said, his fingers working their way into Dean's shirt, unbuttoning and then peeling the fabric from his skin while the two men remained joined at the lips. "I'm your angel... you can be my demon."

Dean thought he would melt hearing those words. His angel still loved him, demon and all, and though part of him fought the attraction, the part of him that would always remain devoted to Castiel was much stronger.

Dean pushed the angel roughly, sending the two of them sprawling on the ground, Dean on top of Cas. His fingers easily found the buttons of Cas' shirt and started undoing them. This quickly became a hassle and before either of them had time to think about what was happening the demon had shredded the thin white fabric to get to what was underneath.

"This is so wrong," Dean murmured, his lips tracing the contours of his angel's well muscled torso. And as many times as they'd done this, it was really weird to think that a Knight of Hell was currently having his way with an Angel of the Lord, but they both thought it was really hot anyway.

Cas squirmed under Dean's touch. His mind was spinning and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't figure out what was happening. He and Dean had been down this road so many times and of course their relationship had hit many rocky points but there had never been anything like this. He was about to fuck a demon. In a way he was still Dean, but he was a demon.

Dean could sense that his gay boy was getting detached from what was happening. He pulled away from Cas, his eyes going dark. "You lied. You can't stand this. You just want me to be the same as I was before. You can't love a demon."

"Dean..." Cas protested, dragging himself to a sitting position. He reached out for Dean, but he backed off, brooding. "Dean," he started again, "I'm not going to pretend that this isn't different, but I'm also not going to end our relationship because of it, okay?" He assured Dean.

Dean still glared at Cas through narrowed eyes but they had returned to their original green color. Cas looked back at him for a moment, his eyes searching Dean’s. Then they snapped and they did a lot of gay.

Dean and held him for a moment until the demon decided this behavior wasn’t acceptable. He sat up and pulled on his bloodstained clothes. Cas watched him silently, still upset that his serial killing demonic boyfriend covered in blood was such a turn on. "You're just going to leave now?"

"Yeah." Dean said dryly, and much like Crowley, he was gone with a snap of his fingers.

\----

"Sam. We have to fix Dean," the angel had appeared at home almost immediately after his encounter with Dean. He loved Dean, and of course the demon thing was really hot, but demons could be really cruel and this Dean wasn't the one he'd fallen in love with.

When there was no answer Castiel checked every room in the house to find out that Sam wasn't there at all. He took a walk around town and had a sinking feeling as he stumbled across a crime scene outside the hospital where Dean died. There was a FedEx truck with a dented bumper and bloodstains, which also extended on the concrete. A further examination showed a body lying in a bodybag. Obviously died immediately because the whole incident happened mere yards from a hospital. The abnormal size of the body meant that (assuming it was human) it could only be Sam Winchester.

The angel shook his head. Considering what he's learned from reading Dean's mind meant that he could only be in hell. Crowley would have seen to that. Now he had two Winchesters to save and only a portion of the angel mojo he was used to. He definitely had his work cut out for him.

\----

"Sammy what the hell?"

Sam frowned hearing his brother's deeper demon voice. He knew this had to happen eventually. In one day the Winchesters had gone from living with an angel to living with the king of hell. In his hell palace.

"Hey Dean." Sam said, frowning.

"What the hell are you doing here? Are you dead?"

His younger brother's silence provided the answer.

Dean started laughing like he hadn't laughed before. "What has it been like a day since I became a knight of hell? Are you already hunting again or was it something better that got you? Oh my god. What got you Sammy? Did you choke on your lunch?"

Sam frowned not wanting to answer. He knew his demon brother would get it out of him eventually though, so he figured he might as well get the pain out now. Before he even spoke he felt his face flush which he wasn't sure was possible for a dead soul. His had to be the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to him. "I uh. There was. Um. FedEx truck. I got hit by a truck."

Dean's eyes flicked black for a second and then he was heaving with laughter strong enough to make the Knight of Hell cry. "You... got... hit... by a truck? How did you let a truck take you down? Aren't you bigger than most trucks? Why didn't you try to take it down with your superhuman Sasquatch strength? Fuck! Sammy Winchester defeated by the FedEx truck. That's fucking awesome."

Sam sat with his head in his hands not wanting to hear Dean laugh at him. He's figured this would be a good idea, to get this out of the way. Now he realized he should have tried to keep it a secret as long as he could. Dean was never gonna forget this.

Crowley popped his head into the room. "What the hell is going on in here?" he asked, grinning to himself because of his pun.  
Dean looked up at Crowley through his tears. "Did you hear about Sammy?"

Sam groaned and covered his ears. He did not have to listen to this. First Dean, and now the creepy King of Hell who had become a lot more open about his crush now that they were both in his natural habitat. He didn't need anyone to know about this.

Despite covering his ears he could still hear his brother telling his stalker all about his unfortunate incident. He was expecting Crowley to join in Dean's laughter, but it was much worse. The much shorter demon came around and put a hand on his shoulder. Sam cringed under the touch. "Moose it's alright I've seen much worse and even though you're deliciously tall you couldn't have fought it off."

Sam forced a smile that ended up looking a whole lot more like a grimace. "Thanks Crowley." He managed to say through gritted teeth. He stood up and easily shook the demon's hand off his shoulder, which was now about three feet higher than Crowley's head. "Well you said this place is my home now, so I'm going to make myself at home, okay? Alright. See you."

He scowled at Dean as he walked past, slightly satisfied to see Dean looking maybe a bit more disturbed than Sam about the Crowley thing. His scowl was greeted with a punch from Dean that made him stumble and nearly fall over. Dean snorted in laughter and walked down a hallway in the opposite direction, clearly not wanting to be around his younger brother anymore.

Dean shook his head as he walked away. He felt satisfied after punching Sam, though it wasn’t as hard as he could've. There was something about the way Crowley was acting that just gave him the creeps. He wondered what it was, since normally he would has found that hilarious. It didn't matter anyway, but now he was pretty pissed off. Maybe he'd go help make some new demons later. Or just kill somebody.

Sam rubbed his sore shoulder and frowned. He couldn't even believe what had happened to him. He had died and was trapped in hell, and even though he wasn't being tortured, having to live in Crowley's fucking hell castle and being stalked by Crowley was proving to be torture enough. Since he'd got here Crowley had been following him like a dog. Everywhere he turned it was "Hey Moose are you doing alright? Can I get you anything? No you can't leave hell. No I'm not going to torture you Moosie, you're too special." It was fucking creepy as hell.

To no one's surprise, Crowley followed Sam after the Winchesters ran away from each other. "Sam, I can show you where you can stay. I'd say where you sleep but you're dead you don't really need to sleep. Unless you want to. Well at the very least you can stay here and me and your idiot brother won't bother you. Actually I shouldn't make promises for him, he's uncontrollable."

"Okay then. Thanks Crowley. I guess."

Crowley walked away from the tall Winchester and lowered his head. Moose made him unable to think clearly and he always sounded stupid around him. It was no way for the king of hell to act but Sam was just so dreamy. It was probably bad to keep him around but he couldn't not have him here. He couldn't let him escape to heaven. He'd never see him again.

\----

Cas was uncomfortable in Crowley's palace to say the least. It was dark and creepy and smelled like death. The last time he'd been to hell was when he'd fought his way in to pull Dean out. Now he was here to save a Winchester but it wasn't his boyfriend. He wished more than anything that he could save Dean and Sam both, but with his angel mojo getting lesser and lesser every day he was scared if he didn't do something soon he wouldn't be of much help to anyone.

He was worried about running into Crowley for obvious reasons, and secretly a bit worried that he might see Dean. He didn't know what seeing his demon boyfriend would do. He might just get distracted, or Dean might get pissed at him for showing up. Or even more so that he was in a sense working against him. Demon Dean was hot but Castiel missed the relationship they had before. Where Dean would return affection.

He didn't know how long he wandered around the hell maze, but it felt like days. Every time he heard something he had to hide, but at least he never ran into the king himself. Finally he heard what had to be Sam talking to himself. He was also walking around the palace, but he seemed to just be raging about his situation.  
The angel moved quickly, pulling the freakishly tall man into a side room where they could talk. Sam was tense at first, but when he recognized Cas his expression changed from fear to confusion, and a bit of relief.

"Oh my god. I thought you were Crowley," he muttered, "Then again, Crowley probably wouldn't jump me like that. Or would he...?" Sam shook his head, his mind had been so jumbled since he'd gotten down here. Cas was giving Sam his signature look- squinted eyes and head cocked to the side like a dog trying to understand English. "Sorry Cas... What the fuck are you doing down here?"

"I'm uh, I'm here to save you."

"Not Dean?" He asked, genuinely confused.

Castiel frowned, "I don't have much grace to work with. I need help with Dean. We have to get him back."

"So why don't you just fix him?"

Cas gave Sam a look that made the giant man feel like he was a child being scolded. "I don't know how," he admitted, "but that's why I need you. You and Dean are the only humans I can think of that might have the knowledge to cure a demon. And seeing as Dean is now a demon, he isn't going to be much use in that category."

  
Sam was all for getting out of hell and rescuing Dean, but he knew how weak Cas was getting. Apparently angels couldn't just steal grace and carry on like normal. "If you pull me out, what happens to you?"

Cas pursed his lips, "There's a chance that I might use all the grace I have left. I'd be human. But you would be alive. We could cure Dean. Find a way somehow."

  
Sam hated to say it. "No. You can't do it. What happens if you bring me back and we need an angel to help Dean? What if you're his last chance and you waste it on me?" Despite everything that Dean had put him through, Winchesters never give up on family. Sam wasn't going to give up any chance at fixing his brother, even if it meant spending more time in hell with Crowley following him around.

"Sam I may not have much time. The grace may wear off on its own. If I don't act now we may not have another chance. You could be stuck here."

Sam gritted his teeth, "I know. Just wait a little longer. See if you can figure anything out. And I'll see what I can do down here. We need to preserve the grace as long as possible. Just in case Dean needs you. Besides, no offense Cas, but you're not much help as a human."

Cas wasn't happy about it, but he trusted Sam's judgement. Maybe he was right. He wanted Dean back more than anything. Even if it meant him being human and staying human. His only hope was that they could find out how to save Dean and he could be of help before it was too late. He looked at Sam one last time before he left, "I'm sorry about the truck."

\----

Dean wandered around the castle lookin for Cas. He could sense that the angel was close. He didn't know if it was a demon thing or if he just had spent enough time around his gay boy it gave him a sort of sixth sense. Whatever it was though, he knew it was correct.

"Cas!" Dean shouted when he finally spotted his angel sneaking around in one of the smaller hallways.

Dean's voice sounded gravelly and raw and hearing him say his name made Cas feel dizzy. He wanted to hear it again but wasn't going to ask. He knew that seeing Dean was the reason he hadn't left hell immediately after talking to Sam, but he didn't want to admit it even to himself. Part of the demon was still Dean though, and he wouldn't forget it. Even though he wanted to say something he didn't, and kept silent until Dean spoke again.

"What the fuck are you doing down here?"

Cas pursed his lips and answered without turning around. "I wanted to see you," he said. He wasn't lying. It wasn't his main purpose for coming, but it was true. He didn't hear his demon come closer but when he turned around the taller man was standing directly behind him.

"Liar."

"I'm not lying, Dean."

Dean smirked but he was unamused. "I know you can't handle me like this." His eyes flicked to black as he spoke.

"I never said that," Cas showed no reaction to the change in Dean's appearance.

"You don't have to Cas. I know you. You hate demons."

"Is that what this is all about? I don't hate you Dean I could never hate you. What do I have to do to convince you of that. I thought yesterday would be enough." Everything Cas was saying was true, but it was almost insane how insecure his gayboy really was.

Dean scowled, but it was a cover. It made him mad that Cas still had such an effect on him. He felt embarrassed and almost weak because of how badly he wanted them to stay together. "I just don't think we can work."

Cas laughed at that and smiled. Dean turned away to hide the smile that had formed on his own face when he heard the angel laugh. "Dean when have we ever 'worked'? This has been happening for years and I'm not even allowed to talk about it."

Dean didn't know what to say or how to react. Demon instincts had nothing to give him and he was worried if he tried to respond he would end up saying something stupid. He was pissed that he couldn't come up with words. He was supposed to be one of the most, if not the most powerful, demon in existence.

"So is this it then? Is this a breakup?" Cas had never officially been broken up with before. Of course he'd only ever been with Dean relationship-wise and they had had their fair share of problems. They probably had more than most couples actually, but neither of them had ever said anything about wanting to split up, shit just happened. It got pretty tiresome.

Dean pondered the question for a few moments. The angel-demon thing was a little weird, but also it was pretty hot. It could hurt his reputation as knight of hell, but what the fuck. It's not like they were gonna go public with this now. And besides, he really wanted to be with Cas.

"No it's not," he finally said. "Because... because I still really like you." It wasn't hard to tell that the demon was pissed. It wasn't directed at Cas though, it was anger with himself.

Cas grinned. He hadn't been expecting that. Apparently his demon was still Dean enough to want to be with him. He only hoped this awkward arrangement wouldn't last much longer.

Dean still hadn't turned around to face Cas and now the angel pulled him around roughly by his shirt and leaned forward to kiss him deeply. Dean's hands moved automatically to Cas' hips. They were absorbed in passion and Dean swung Cas against the wall, the two of them never coming apart. When there was finally a break in the kissing they were both panting and had their arms entangled with each other. Dean smiled down at Cas and with his eyes their normal green, for a moment it seemed like nothing had changed.

To Cas the moment seemed to last forever, but he was jolted out of it when his demon lifted him off the floor and started to take him into the closest room.  
"Where are we going?" Cas asked.

"Anywhere,” his gay boy growled, and his eyes gave the answer.

 

***some months have passed***

 

“Moose, do you want to get married?”

Sam groaned and rolled his eyes. Every day. Every fucking day. “No Crowley, I still don’t want to marry you. Fuck off.”

Crowley couldn’t help but smile at Sam Winchester, despite his rejection. Since a few weeks after Sam’s arrival in hell, this had been their routine. Every day Crowley asked the beautiful man to marry him, and every day the taller man yelled at him and insulted him. Still, Crowley wouldn’t give up hope. One day Sam might say yes, and besides, being yelled at by Moose was better than him ignoring Crowley like he did most of the time.

He stood in the doorway for a moment, silent. Sam had gone back to what he had been doing before he was rudely interrupted by the King of Hell, counselling demons on how to be better people. It was certainly annoying, but also cute how Sam thought he could ‘purify’ demon souls. Crowley knew it was all about his brother, but he didn’t have the heart to tell him that Dean was unfixable. He didn’t understand the Winchester codependency thing but he loved Sam so he didn’t want to upset him.

  
Sam looked up from his session and glared at Crowley. “I thought I said fuck off! That also means leave,” he bitched.

It was creepy enough that the demon proposed to him daily, but when he started staring like that it made his skin crawl. He didn’t know how to make it clear that he wasn’t interested. He was only ever mean to Crowley but it felt like that just strengthened his affection.

“Moosie I know you’re trying to do a good thing here but it needs to stop. You’re hurting my business,” Crowley said. This statement had two purposes: cover up the fact that he was just staring at the younger Winchester’s well-muscled figure, and make him feel like he was accomplishing something.

Sam only glared at Crowley until he left, stalking down the hallway with his long medieval cape flowing along behind him. Once the freak had left, Sam concluded his support group session. He’d originally done this to see if there was any way he could help Dean just by talking to him. It was a long shot, and he quickly realized that it did nothing, but now it was a habit he didn’t know how to stop. It helped him relieve some of the boredom of being trapped in hell, and it was also kind of funny to see anyone show up because Sam was about 95% sure they all came because Crowley told them to. He briefly wondered what that meant that he was enjoying the fact that Crowley was going out of his way to try to make him happy. He decided not to think about it for too long.

\----

“Any leads on how to cure a demon? Or how to get rid of the Mark of Cain?” Sam asked.

Cas shook his head, “Nothing new. But we’re running out of time. I won’t even be able to visit De-you- or pull you out of here before too long.”

Sam frowned. He wished he wasn’t dead and could actually do something more than hang around Crowley’s hell palace and hide from his demon brother. All he wanted was to save Dean from his demonness.

“See if you can find any books on demons and bring them to me. I can’t find any sort of library around this hell-hole,” he laughed to himself about his pun, “Seriously though, Crowley made it so all the rooms change around or something. Not that he’d keep books around that would tell how to cure him and his kind or anything. I’m sorry I can’t be much of a help.”

Cas nodded. He didn’t tell Sam that he hadn’t been much help himself. He was working to find a cure for Dean, but at the same time he kind of wanted to let him stay that way for a bit longer. It was really hot, after all. “I’ll do what I can,” he told Sam. “Until I can get back to you, see if you can talk to Dean and see what you can do. Find out how gone he is.”

Cas would do it himself, except he was pretty sure the times that he saw Dean were never a good opportunity to find out exactly how demon he was. Also Dean never wanted to talk while he was down here. If he was honest with himself, though, he didn’t really want to talk to demon Dean either. Especially not while other things were happening.

Sam was about to protest, but Cas was gone before he could. He was so sick of being around all these creatures that just disappeared whenever they felt like it. He would have liked to complain to Cas about how demon Dean was even more of an asshole than regular Dean, and how he made fun of Sam every time they crossed paths just because of the stupid truck. Sam also hated it when Cas left. Since he left college to pursue the good ol’ family business years ago, his only real friends had been Dean and later Cas. Now that his brother was a monster, Cas was really the only person Sam could talk to. It was lonely.

\----

Dean was sitting in the grand hall of Crowley’s hell palace when Sam found him. He was sitting in Crowley’s throne (he actually had a throne) sharpening his bone knife and staring at himself in a large floor mirror he had apparently dragged into the room. Since he’d become a demon he’d been even more narcissistic than usual, and spent a good deal of the time he wasn’t killing anyone looking at himself and striking poses in the mirror. He also had an unhealthy obsession with his knife and carried it around with him always.

Sam’s face was sour as he entered the room. He stood off to the side and watched his brother for a moment, fighting the urge to run away before the demon noticed him. He was also mad at how stupid Dean was acting and wanted to make fun of him for staring at himself for hours but he knew that would only backfire on him.  
“Hey, Dean,” he greeted.

Dean looked up, shocked to hear a voice. He wasn’t used to anyone bothering him. Everyone was too afraid of him to try, and if he wanted to see someone he usually found them. It was sort of a relief when it was just his giant brother.

“What do you want FedEx?” he said, laughing to himself.

Sam rolled his eyes and walked closer to Dean, “Nothing really, just wanted to talk to, you know, my only brother. See how he’s doing? Find out what’s new?”  
It was actually almost embarrassing how badly he missed Dean. He’d always been Sam’s bff, and even though Dean had died like 100 times and Sam should be used to not having him there, it was just something about Dean being a demon that was worse.

“Danny’s not here Mrs. Torrance,” Dean said.

Sam almost smiled at the stupid movie reference. That was such a Dean thing to do. Maybe there was still hope, after all.  
“Seriously, Dean?”

Dean barely turned his head to look up at Sam. He was currently scraping blood from under his fingernails with his precious knife, and apparently couldn’t be bothered.

“Seriously Sammy, whatever the hell you want I guarantee that I don’t care.”

“Come on Dean, I’m so bored please talk to me,” he whined, “Remember when you used to care about me? We’re still brothers.”  
Sam hadn’t intended to actually want to spend time with Dean, let alone feel so emotional about this situation, but somehow it had snuck up on him anyway.

“Shut up, Sammy, you’re so clingy.”

Sam’s jaw dropped, “I’m clingy?? Says you! You sold your soul for me remember that, Dean? You’re insane!”

Dean finally looked at Sam, and his face was bright red from anger, embarrassment, or both. “Yeah, well, whatever, you’re a bitch Sam.”

For a second Sam smiled happily, and then quickly masked it so Dean wouldn’t realize that he’d just given himself away. “Jerk.” he muttered under his breath.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is in the air.

*time goes by*

“Dean!” Sam yelled as he wandered around the castle, “Dean, please, I know you hate me but I need your help.”

Sam was broken. He didn’t know how this had happened. How his life, or afterlife, had come to this. If stupid Crowley had just let up and left him alone this wouldn’t have happened. But that creepy demon king just had to be persistent, and Sam hated that his plan had worked. He felt sick.

Dean appeared almost instantly before him, but Sam quickly realized that Dean was looking for someone but it wasn’t Sam. He didn’t even care.

“Sammy what the hell? What do you want?” Dean said, quickly hiding the rose that he’d been holding in his mouth behind his back as if his younger brother hadn’t seen it.

“I need your help you have to do something about Crowley.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “What do I have to do? Ugh, just let him be his creepy little self, I don’t care about your problems.” The demon turned around and started to walk down the hall, he was supposed to meet Cas down here and he wasn’t planning on having those plans interrupted by his stupid brother.

“Dean you don’t understand.” Sam swallowed against the taste of bile rising in his throat. His voice barely a whisper he managed, “Dean, I accidentally got engaged to Crowley, you have to help me get out of this.”

His older brother stopped mid-step. He didn’t know what he’d just heard but it sounded like- “You WHAT?” He said, turning around.

“It sounds like you just said you’re engaged to Crowley but- oh my god you’re not kidding.”

For being such a giant, Sam looked really small as he was about to start crying. He couldn’t decide if this was a good or a bad idea but he didn’t know what else to do. For the past hour he’d been reliving the moment over and over again, and each time it got worse.

“Is today the day, Moose, do you want to get married?”

“You know what, Crowley? Yeah. Sure. Let’s get married. Let’s having a fucking wedding ceremony in hell just for fun.” Sam rolled his eyes. There was no quitting. He never stopped- day after day- it was so annoying. “Okay, seriously though, stop asking the answer is always going to be no, you fucker.”

Sam looked up at the doorway where Crowley was always standing creepily to see that he got the message, but the demon wasn’t there.

“Crowley?” he said, starting to freak out a little. “Crowley, what the fuck? I was kidding! I was kidding oh my god Crowley I’m not going to marry you it was a joke, okay? Ha ha ha….”

The king of hell didn’t appear to confirm that he understood Sam was joking, and Sam swallowed uneasily. This was gonna be okay anyway. Crowley was crazy, but he couldn’t make Sam marry him. Probably. Actually Sam wasn’t sure what Crowley could do, but he wasn’t sure how badly he wanted to test that out.

Still, panic didn’t set in until he realized that there was an engagement ring on his finger that he couldn’t get off. He didn’t know how Crowley even managed that, but no matter what he did, save cutting off his hand, it stayed stuck on his hand. He knew he couldn’t get that short little freak to leave him alone on his own, so that’s how he reluctantly ended up asking his brother for help.

“I was joking!” Sam said, fighting back tears, “But then he disappeared so I couldn’t take it back and I don’t know what to do please help me Dean.”

Dean looked at him blankly for a moment before a huge grin spread across his face and once again, he started laughing until tears came out of his eyes. “Congratulations Sammy,” he finally said, “Does this mean you get to be queen of hell?”

“It’s not funny Dean, would you want to marry Crowley?”

“He’s not obsessed with me.”

Dean actually kind of felt bad for Sam, only a bit though, and he was still really mad at him for interrupting what should be Cas-time right now. He crossed his arms at his little brother and pursed his lips. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“I don’t know! Just make sure he knows that I’m not going through with this? He’s way more likely to listen to you. Please, Dean, please oh my god I’m begging you.”

“Well, see, maybe I could do that. But I’m a supportive brother so yes I will be your best man,” he said, grinning.   
“That’s not funny.”

“Yes it is. I’m not going to help you Sammy, this is funny as shit.”

Sam’s face was red with anger as he walked away from Dean. Then all of a sudden he stopped, because he realized he knew how to get back at Dean. “Dean I know you and Cas have been banging each other.”

Dean’s face automatically turned bright red. “What the fuck are you talking about Sammy,” he said, holding his fancy knife at his side threateningly.

“What are you going to do, Dean? Stab me? I’m dead anyway, also what do you think my fiancé would have to say about it? (Sam would never forgive himself for uttering those words, and if it wasn’t for Dean he would have been on the ground convulsing) Yeah,” Sam continued, “Also you think you’re so secretive about your gayness Dean, but literally everybody knows, not just me. Like do you ever stop staring at Cas? The answer is no you don’t.”

“Shut up, Sammy, I swear to god I’m going to kill you again,” said Dean, “That’s not even true,” he said, trying to deny it, but the fact that he couldn’t meet Sam’s eye made his denial weak.

“Dean? Where are you?” Cas’ voice came from somewhere nearby, just to further the blow against Dean’s masculinity.

“Dean’s in here, Cas,” Sam yelled, and the angel quickly found them.

“What’s going on?” he asked, very noticeably confused.

“I was just telling Dean that I know you two are gay,” Sam said, glaring at Dean as he spoke.

Cas turned to look at Dean and the demon’s face turned about 1000 shades redder and looked at his feet.

“Does this mean we can talk about it?” Cas asked Dean, who had forbidden Cas to ever talk about their relationship with anyone because, as he always put it, “I am not gay. Don’t make people think I am gay.” Cas always thought that was a pretty silly thing for Dean to say anyway, but he always agreed because he loved Dean so much.

“No!” Dean yelled, but his voice cracked and so he retreated further into the corner.

“You can talk about whatever you want Cas,” Sam assured him. “Dean, I think answering that question just proves that I’m right even more.”

When Cas turned to look at Sam his eyes caught sight of the ring that was stuck on Sam’s finger. His eyes widened, “You’re getting married?” he asked, not even trying to mask the jealousy in his voice.

Sam made a face of disgust, “I’m not, but Crowley can’t take a joke, and so this is here, it’s not a big deal,” he said, attempting to brush it off.

“I want to get married,” he said, sadly casting a glance at his gayboy who was on the ground looking like he wanted to die.

“Maybe you can one day,” Sam told Cas.

Cas pursed his lips, trying to be more serious. After visiting Dean, his plan had been to go see Sam and finally bring him back from hell. Now that that was evidently not going to happen he decided it was probably time for him and Sam to leave.

“Bye, Dean, we have to go,” he said, not that Dean showed any sign of having heard.

\----

“What the hell just happened?” Sam asked as the two men appeared in the men of letters bunker aka their house.

“I brought you back to life with the last of my angel powers and now we’re home. And we still have to fix Dean.”

“That kinda hurt…” Sam complained.

Cas gave him a look. Sam was no longer trapped in hell, and he was no longer an angel (or was he??) but now they had no more excuses to not actually fix Dean.

“What do we do now?” Sam asked Cas.

Cas shrugged. “I suppose we wait for Dean and then try to do that whole blood thing and see if it fixes him?”

Sam nodded, “Alright that sounds like a good idea I’ll go steal some blood from the hospital.”

\----

Crowley was crying. He found out that Sam was not dead anymore and now they couldn’t get married this was the saddest day of his whole life. ))):

\----

It didn’t take long for Dean to show up. He wanted to kill Sam really bad (now that he could) for outing him and Cas. He was still pretty sure Sam was lying about everyone knowing because he knew that he was very sneaky and so masculine that there is no way anyone would ever think he was gay. Also he was pretty sure he never even stared at Cas. Sam was so dumb.

Cas and Sasquatch captured him in a devil’s trap and after a few hours of Dean acting like a six year old in time out they were pretty sure they had fixed him.

“That was so easy,” said Sam.

“Yes, almost too easy.” Cas agreed.

“We could have done that ages ago.”

“Yep.”

“I am sorry I was really mean to you when I was a demon,” said Dean, very sadly.

Cas and Sam untied Dean who was definitely not a demon. He stood up and looked at the two of them. “Sam you are my favorite brother ever and I love you so much and am very devoted to you in a very normal and not at all codependent way,” he said to Sam.

“Same,” Sam replied. They did not hug because hugging is a gay thing to do and Dean is not about that.

Dean said nothing to Cas, but he accidentally looked at him and his face went all red. Then he looked at Sam who politely turned around so that Dean and Cas could hardcore make out all over the place in a very non-gay way.

“Dean can we please get married?” Cas asked when they were done making out.

Dean was all red again. “No, I still don’t want anybody to know about this,” said Dean because he is an asshole.

“But Sam said everyone knows,” Cas said, frowning.

“Sam is probably a liar because we hide this relationship very well,” Dean said.

All of a sudden there is a very loud booming voice filling the room. It is the voice of John Winchester from heaven.

“Dad?” said both Winchesters in unison.

“Hi, Sam.” said the voice of Johnnyboy Winchester, “Dean. You are not good at hiding your gayness, everybody has always known you are gay. You can marry the angel.”

Dean is very embarrassed but he can’t keep saying no to Cas especially because he really wants to marry his angel.

“Okay let’s get married Cas I love you.”

\----

Dean and Cas have a weird little wedding with Sam as the only guest because all their friends are dead. Magically, it seems like Cas is an angel again after all. Maybe it is a wedding present from his dad that may or may not still exist. Who knows?

“Dean we have a lot of work to do because we mess up everything. Also we should probably start hunting again because it is the family business,” Sam said.

“I will probably hang around you guys more often now because I am married to Dean,” said Cas.

Dean is very happy. “That is a good idea Sam let’s all go hunt and stuff.”

They all get into the Impala and drive away into the sunset to go hunt and other stuff. Cas is sitting in the back seat and it is just like old times except that now Dean has admitted his gayness. “Carry On My Wayward Son,” comes on the radio. Dean and Sam sing the song really loud, even the instrumental parts, and Cas just smiles because this is a grand time. They drive away into the sunset and live happily ever after.

**The End.**


End file.
